Eating Disorders – What to Look Out For

So, now that we are all here, let’s discuss a little about what has brought me here in the first place: My Eating Disorder. I know! I know! Not the most body exhilarating topic, however, it is important to set the groundwork for why I am here so heart and soul into promoting body positivity. Eating Disorders have been somewhat “swept under the rug” in our society. We are hesitant to talk of its prevalence among our youth, young adults, even older adults. If you are unfamiliar with the term eating disorder, unaware of its consequences, or simply don’t know what to look for, I am here to tell you. An eating disorder is defined as “any range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal or disturbed eating habits”. If you’re still confused by that definition lets take a little bit of a deeper look into the three main types.  

1. First we have Anorexia Nervosa. Anorexia is characterized by a distorted body image, obsessed fear of gaining weight, the restriction of eating patterns (starvation), or compulsive exercise in an attempt to maintain a low body weight. This can look like cutting out a particular food group in reference to those foods as “bad” or completely depriving your body of nutritional needs, forcing the body into an intense caloric deficit.
2. Second we have Bulimia. A bulimic disorder is characterized by a serious episode of binge eating followed by an attempt to purge out what has been eaten in the form of vomiting, laxatives, fasting or compulsive exercise. The purging exercises are pursued in an attempt to avoid weight gain. 
3. The third Eating Disorder behavior, which is fairly new, is Binge Eating Disorder. Binge Eating Disorder has been described by the abnormally large amounts of food being ingested within a short time frame. Purging is not a result of this behavior. However, these overly large amounts of food often lead the individual to feel ashamed and disgusted with oneself and body. These feelings often fuel the individuals anxiety or depressed states.  

We can sit here and talk definitions all day long but let’s look at some potential red flag behaviors and symptoms to be on the lookout for. To list a few:  

1. Struggling to Eat in front of others
2. Avoidance of Social Settings and Gatherings 
3. Isolating Oneself from Friends and Family
4. Development of Rituals and Rules around food 
5. You experience Body Dysmorphia. Body dysmorphia is defined as an obsession with perceived flaws in your physical appearance.
6. Struggling to Stay Warm
7. Loss or Absence of Regular Menstruation 
8. Excessive Exercise 
9. Fear of Weight Gain and Preoccupation with how the Body Looks
10. Food Becomes a Constant Mental Obsession  

How my Eating Disorder Affected My Life: It’s about to get real personal. I think it’s crucial for those unfamiliar with these patterns to understand the mentality that takes place coming from someone who has experienced some of these disorders. 😉

In the beginning stages of my eating disorder, I really couldn’t tell you I had an eating disorder. I couldn’t have even described to you what an eating disorder was much less accept the fact that I was on the brink of one. An eating disorder to me was a far off, distant scary thing that I could  NEVER possibly develop. In my brain I was too “healthy” to ever fall into such a thing. That so-called “healthy”, as I saw it, was substituting a smoothie or even nothing at all for breakfast and lunch because it kept me losing weight. I began equating health to a lower body weight and smaller body frame. My thought patterns quickly adapted to a solution for always staying thin  being to limit my eating or even worse not eat at all. Hence, where the disordered thoughts and patterns concretely set in. Food held the power in how my body looked and I was ultimately in control of what food I put in my body. I learned how to dismiss those hunger pangs telling me to eat. Eventually it became normal until I felt no hunger at all. All the food rules I set in place for myself were working! I maintained a slim figure but at what cost. The cost of silencing my body completely abandoning all body trust and tarnishing my relationship with food. What type of life is that when you are constantly worried about the chocolate chip cookie you ate after dinner and how it’s going to mess up that great body you’ve starved yourself to have. After hours and hours of checking in mirrors and pinching your body in all the areas you hate you ask yourself “what type of life is this?” What type of life is it to live in fear of your body and what it’s capable of. I was always so angry and dissatisfied with myself when I broke one of those food rules leaving me completely lost and absorbed in how I looked. I held the power and failed myself every time I felt hungry enough to eat breakfast. It was 7 months into the mental cycle of labeling food as the enemy and letting it dictate how I felt about my body that the harsh reality set in that I wasn’t failing myself, my disorder was failing me. So here I am to help bring awareness to these thought patterns that get swept under the blanket of a looks obsessed world and diet loving society. 

If you have experienced similar thought patterns or even feel encouraged to ask more questions, reach out to me through my Contact Me page on my website!

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